S.O.S Need Computer

To anyone who has an old computer sitting around, I need it. My home computers video card is dead and it's built into the motherboard. My laptop is way freaked out and very unstable(it took over a week to insall a fresh windows on it cause it kept shutting down) Anyway, if any of ya'll have an old computer (even a dinosaur) let me know I could use it until we can afford a new one. At any rate, all is well, growth is interesting, banners are waved, love prevails, the crucified life is imminent and His joy is my strength.

It Is For Freedom

I was thumbing through my journal the other day and ran across this old writing. The first word in my journal is "Freedom" and it reads as follows:

Freedom - Freedom is not what one is when there is a lack of rules or when another doesn't have authority over you. Nor is it one who is able to do what he wants regardless of rules, laws or consequence. Freedom comes when one is walking in the true will of the Father. A freedom comes when you know that you feet are exactly where they are supposed to be. Freedom is being trumpeted in the land. Freedom cannot be contained. Freedom will not be ignored. The spirit of freedom will prevail.

Galatians 5:13 reads "For you were called to freedom brethren, only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love, serve one another."

We are called to freedom. We are called to walk in the will of the Father. So often we turn freedom, or what we perceive freedom to be, as an opportunity for selfish gain. But our Father desires us to use freedom as an opportunity to love one another. I am not serving or loving with a true spirit if I am not walking in the will of God.

Prayer - "Lord I desire my every step to be ordained by Your perfect will. Please allow me to see when my flesh is after selfish gain and when I am loving or serving in the flesh. Quickly allow me to regain any steps lost in the path you have for me"

There are many traps and snares along the path of freedom. The enemy fears a man walking in true freedom. What is more dangerous to the kingdom of darkness than a man walking in the will of the Father. The traits of a man walking in freedom are humility, love, fruit, service, wisdom, perspective, power and authority. Through obedience, holiness is not unattainable for we are one. Seek my will, deny your flesh,hear My voice, hear the trumpet sound. Freedom is near, it will come, it cannot be stopped. The closer you come to Me, the closer you come to freedom and freedom is My will for all. - end entry

I read that today and it reminded me that God still has a plan for my life. Though I am still seeking His will I am never-the-less a "Freedom Fighter". So that being said, it is for freedom why I pick myself from up off the ground, look up to the sky, and take another step up the mountain of life.

WARNING!!WARNING!!..(the post under this is not meant to judge anyone at all but meant to encourage, if I judge anyone in this post it is myself.)

Please, if you are going to read the post "Man of Faith" do not be led to believe I am judging harshly in any way. I am simply ranting particular feelings. I believe the undertone of the post is to encourage myself and hopefully encourage the reader. I will however take your comments to the following. I encourage thought and debate :)

Man Of Faith

My life is not perfect. I struggle in every possible way and often think that I'll never really be able to change. My mind wonders to the depths of despair and I never fail to find myself wishing for better times. I seem to want to find this super equation that helps me understand my purpose in this world. Truth is, I wallow in my own punishment. It would be so easy to turn into a person who blames society or "the man" or others who just don't have it figured out. To turn my angst to politicians and to the world, to muster up some kind of cause to protest against. Even blame the church and religion for being hypocrites and liars. But the truth is, I have been given life. I have been created to love. I am fearfully and wonderfully made by the Creator of all beings who sits on a throne and marvels in the lives of His creation and people. "Peace be still" He says to the storm clouds of my soul "I have chosen you". I have but one request of my God. That His will be accomplished in my life that I might one day stand before Him in everlasting eternity. You see, if you don't believe in God, or you do but not "The One True God" there is a longing that is never filled in our souls. We have but one chance to sit at the table of the Lord. And the only way to accomplish this it to believe. Believe that in all of this chaos and random times of joy that we are in the process of being made whole. Are you whole? Or is something missing? Can you honestly say you are complete? There comes a day in surrender when you have exhausted all of your options and you look up through a lightning filled blood red sky and say "You are my portion my God my Savior, no matter what, I will follow. Though You slay me, I will trust You Lord" The answer is found in the One who has been brutally slain. Jesus is as real as it gets folks and trust me I have searched for other means and have followed other desires. Jesus is the only One who has not betrayed me or left me in any way. But it has been I who has gone astray. I understand there are religious pretenders out there who kill the word Christianity with their money grubbing and rules of salvation and their betrayal of love to those hurting, and to them I pray swift reconciliation. But also believe this. There are those out there who have really lived the life, and stood their ground for the sake of a very real God. What drives such men and women to endure every pain in life.......I believe the answer is faith. Faith in a King, a Friend and a Lover. Would you die for what you believe in? Would you endure ridicule and humiliation and face the mockery of your friends and family for believing in an ever criticized religion. I propose this. Christianity is not a religion, it is life. It will cost you everything to walk out the will of God for your life. It is the most painful and the most rewarding. You know what is really important in your life when you can say you are willing to die for it. Be encouraged and have faith. For this life is but a vapor. Let the beauty and mystery of Jesus capture your every waking breath....and live life.

A New Leaf

Well I said that I would try to post every Friday and it has now been over a month since I last posted. Speaking of, I saw a great T-Shirt yesterday that a friend was wearing. It was all black and on the front in red letters it said "Procrastinators Unite Tomorrow". I was like "Dude that shirt rocks". As you can see I identified with it. Than I got to thinking, "Man I am so that way in my spiritual life and life in general that I have suffered consequences in both." In my spiritual walk I have said things like, "I need to read the word more or I need more time with the Lord, I need to spend more time with my family discussing Godly things" in the natural I have been known to put bills off, and avoid situations that need attention, and say "I need to write more". Yesterday I noticed finally and harshly, I am a procrastinator. And for once it didn't feel like a joke, it felt real. Not that I want to read the word and pray more because of performance based relation with God, but because I know I will benefit from it in my decision making for my future and for the lives of my kids. In essence I need to stop talking about how I am a Christian and in love with God and actually BE a Christian and LOVE God. I and my generation hurts because of this horrible trait, and we seem to just wait for everything to fix itself. I don't know about you but I want my yes to be yes. Ahem....next Friday

The Fleeting Dream

So I had a dream last night where I was talking to this girl from another state and I was at some kind of flea market type thing. Anyway she found out my name and thanked me for writing a song that was dear to her. I thanked her and asked her which song. She began to sing it and at first I didn't recognize the song. Then she began to sing the verses and I began to cry. "I forgot about that song" I told her, "I gotta start singing it again". The reason I was crying was that a song meant so much to someone when I (the writer) had forgotten about it. Right then I made it a point to remember the melody and the words as she was singing it. Then I woke up and...........well you guessed it. Immediately I forgot the words and melody. Maybe the words and melody count or maybe it was a metaphor, regardless the song in my dream sounded so cool (melody and all). I do remember when the girl started singing it, I flashed back (in the dream mind you) to playing at New Life Community Church (my old church) where I was playing the song. So it was in the flashback where I heard the song with a full band. Well, I guess I need to write some more. Bye for now. Oh yeah, I will now try to post every Friday so check back next week.

K.C. Trip Day 3

Today has been revelation after revelation. It is amazing that when we get into a place of beholding God that he reminds us that He is with us and for us. Many prophetic words were spoken over my life today reminding me that God counts me worthy. You see my struggle is that I see God as wanting to reprimand me for my short-coming. When again it places the focus upon myself instead of Christ. The idea is beholding Jesus and in doing that we become what we behold. Well a heavy duty word was spoken over me this afternoon about "Him wanting to meet with me tonight" or the Lord saying "I will meet with you tonight". So I'm gonna go and wait!!!

K.C. Trip Day 2

Another great day and just a little problem with the laptop but nothing huge. I spent most of the day in the prayer room and was able to see my wife on the webcam at home. some technology is good I guess. Today I read a book called "Overcoming the Religious Spirit" by Rick Joyner. Needless to say it completly changed my life. My outlook on myself and just the process God has everyone in has changed. I realize that I need to take my eyes off of my own sin and focus them where they need to be, which is on Jesus of course. Sounds pretty simple right. Well thats the point. God has made a simple way for us to love and to be loved by Him. But our nature and the enemy wants to complicate that so we can be sucked into a bunch of religious garbage so our focus becomes that on ourselves instead of the blood of Jesus which makes us holy and acceptable in the first place. It is a revelation and a life changing experience for me to realize that. Anyway I could go on for awhile but I would rather at this time stay before God for the rest of the night, to make sure it soaks in. Oh yeah, I took a spiritual gifts test. Now most of these are wierd and by no means does it suggest my calling in life (the test even states that). I tried to answer as honest as possible and the results said that my gifting is in prophecy first and then prayer. Interesting to say the least. Well more tomorrow.

K.C. Trip Day 1

Well after spending most of the night trying to get my internet working, I finally got it. My computer (laptop) is acting way up. I should just slap it and put it in it's place. As you can tell it has frustrated me tonight and in the past. Anyway, on a positive note. We made it just fine. Kris and I were on our way to the van which was supposed to leave at 8:00am. when my RV suddenly ran out of gas. The gas gauge doesn't work so I guess you could say that I miscalculated. We walked to the gas station and got a gallon of gas and a gas can. To make a long story short I continued to flood the engine resulting in a major inconvienence. Josh gracefully came to our rescue. We tried jumping the RV battery cause I killed it trying to start it to often as a result of my impatience with the whole scenario. Needless to say that my RV is now locked up and sitting in the Jimtown school parking lot since they were generous enough to let me park it there. I hope it will start when I get back. It took about 10-11 hours to get here and I am now sitting in the pleasant atmosphere of the K.C. house of prayer. The 12-2am slot has been very good thus far. Kinda mellow in the room but the worship team is kickin. I hope to spend the most of my hours here in the prayer room for the next 3 days. I do have a couple of meetings with the Forerunner Music people but I hope they will be quick and to the point as I would bet they would want the same thing. I just want to be with God and rekindle that giddyness. To have joy again and dare to walk totally and completly in His ways. I do have weak legs and I tend to fall alot. It's starting to hurt. Intimacy. Theres a word, or how bout this one, love. Geez, wrap your head around those. Or better yet, forgivness. I need to start forgiving myself so I can move on. Once I forgive myself I think I'll bee able to start loving others. Well we'll see what day 2 holds. I love and miss you Erin Jayne. I wish I could see that when I'm with you more often than when I'm without.

What The?

Ok, so you gotta check out this video of a 12 yr old ripping a crazy drum solo. Make sure you watch it till the end. I know you'll be amazed at the talent this kid has.

IHOP-KC BUSTIN' OUT

Well we have started recieving the Ihop-KC web feed at our home and it has been really awesome. The worship has been really good and you can just sense the level of annointing and blessing that God has bestowed on this house of prayer. They are on a different level since a couple of years ago. The flow is so natural and not pre-determined. I especially enjoy Misty's nights as well as Clay Edwards, Justin Rizzo and Shawna Forrey. These worship leaders are exceptionally well and their teams are tremendous. If you get achnce check em out. For the prayer room schedule and webcast go here
We have been recieving the free web cast under the Global Bridegroom Fast link. It says that it is available free the first Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of every month. For some reason the link has worked since my wife and I started using it last week. Maybe it's God knowing how much that we need to be refreshed. There is something about KC and their(Gods)house of prayer. I think it might be that they are walking in their specific calling. Nothing more, nothing less. The ministry is in the will of the Father. Their not trying to build something. They are just being obidient to God, not man. Anyway, God is a good father.

Random Post

Well I wanted to update and thought "I'll show some pictures" Here are a few random pics to share and soon I will write a novel on this thing. I haven't quite been able to put my thoughts into words and I suppose not writing them down is kinda my way of avoiding them. But I know and realize the sooner I face my thoughts the sooner I can move on. God is so patient with me. And I so lack faith in Him. Well, here are some pics.

Someones Wishes at the Skatepark

Madisen as a Librarian

Mom & Maddy

I'm In Love

Recently I aquired a "Boss AD 8 acoustic guitar processor". Now if your a non musician or non guitar player you may not understand what the big deal is, let me explain. The ad 8 allows my "Morgan Monroe Serenade" electric acoustic (pictured-retail $599)sound like a $2000 Martin through a process of COSM modeling (Composite Object Sound Modeling). For guys like me (rich in spirit, poor in finance) this is a dream come true. You see I mostly play electric acoustic and rarely ever play unplugged. So this is perfect for my situation. I love the playability of my guitar and it sounds good plugged straight into a P.A. I've had no complaints. But now the sound is amazing. I gotta give it up for Boss and this pedal. The pedal also offers features like reverb, mic modeling position and a built in tuner with a mute function. Also on the pedalboard is a Boss Chorus CE-5 and an RC20 Looper with a Rolls headphone amp and an Art tube preamp direct box. Now I am set. The last feture I could ever desire is a Boss Digital Delay (maybe way later). Oh yeah, here are the models of acoustics achieved through the Boss.

Martin D-28 mic'd by a Nuemann U87, Martin 000-28 mic'd by a Nuemann U67, Gibson J-45 mic'd by a Nuemann U67, Gibson B-25 mic'd by a Nuemann U87, Guild D-40 mic'd by a AKG C12 and a Jose' Ramirez mic'd by a AKG C12

My Guitar

My New Toy

Suffering

I am now the proud owner of this painting. My friend Ryan painted it a long time ago and is now moving out of town. He said I can have this painting. It now hangs in my living room above my couch. I love it's representation of the cross. It shows that Jesus' sacrifice was no walk in the park and that he truly endured pain and suffering. I also dig the way it shows darkness in the true separation of God that occured when Jesus died. It truly portrays the question "Why have You forsaken Me". A question I'm sure Jesus never lokked forward to asking. Or maybe He did.

Original Painting By Ryan Singleton

The Show Was Great

Well tonight I saw Chris Tomlin and Matt Redman at the Morris. It was really good. Chris did what seemed to be the greatest hits collection and Matt did some of his popular songs. The songs done from what I can remember were, in no order:

Chris: Holy is the Lord, Indescribable, We Fall Down, Famous One, How Great Is Our God, Enough, and some others

Matt: Blessed Be Your Name, Once Again, The Heart Of Worship, a new song I had not heard and a couple more.

All in all it was a great night and the media presentation was off the hinges. It really was presented as an art form. Louie Giglio had a great message too. I was glad to see everyone that I hadn't seen in awhile. Good friends, time with my Dad and great worship. What a night.

Apollogy 4 Tha Wurst Speling N Thu Wurld

So I was reading my last post and noticed that I could have been thought of as a drunk the way I mispelled everything. "So use spell check" you might say. Well, I just forget about it and by the time I post, I just don't wanna go back. So I apoligize if you really have to try to understand sometimes what I'm trying to say.

Is There Some Kind Of Light I'm Missing

Weel I suppose now that I will write about the deslolation that has infultrated my mind and spirit. Through all that has happened in 4 months ie. surgery, Emma born, vascetomy, no job within sight (jobs come here and there but not in longevity). Needless to say I have had alternate things try to comsume my life. The hide and seek game is over for now. I tired of looking. In seeing this I understand that a pursuit is nescesary. I feel that somehow I have lost the key to my fathers heart. I used to feel like I could unlock it and at any time. And in the times when I couldn't. It was my "wilderness". See what I have noticed is the "The Wilderness" periods are far and few in between, when the only anwser is to physically lean upon the cross of Jesus. Other times we are lost in "The Woods" if you will and we happen to run acrossed revelation here and there. You see the woods are not desolate. You have your friends, family, Spouse, disteraction, a so called prophetic word and even a plan, also a whole lotta God told mees. The wilderness seems to be a desolate place to make your abode. It's uncomfortable, a place without advice, a place of fear of the unknown. Barren of friends and friends ideas. Absolutly no finances. You are left with you and what you think that the voice of God sounds like. You start to question "Do I know what His voice sounds like, or is it my voice" Does God always tell you good things? Does God think everything is peachy. You ask things like "Am I a Christian in compared to what I think a good Christian would look like" "Then why can't I love with purity" "Why can I not kill my motive" The only thing left to do is four things:

Pray
Be Silent
Listen
Write

In that order.
If anyone knows of a job that could suit me, please let me know, I need it:)

The Big 30

Live Worship Show

Crazy

Things have been nuts around the homestead with the new addition and school starting back up again. We need to find a rhythm so keep us in prayer please. I will post more later but for now, much love **pat..pat...peace**