Sometimes Crying Is Long Overdue.

Well I had almost a complete public meltdown while leading worship last Sunday. I was singing a song that I wrote about four years ago and I think the words and the message finally hit me. And I realized that just because I write a song that exuberates a surrender and an overtaking of my life by the Holy Spirit doesn't necessarily mean that that's where I am at the moment. But it has everything with where I desire to be. Sure we can go all day singing things like "I lay it all down for You" or "You complete me" or even "I will praise You". The point is that we remain aware of our current state before the Lord and that we are honest with Him about the condition of our hearts. I personally don't make the best decisions all of the time with my head but my heart is really what is crying out. Thats why it is a battle in the mind. The war rages on in our heads, do this do that, don't do this or that. I believe it is why God has chosen to look at our hearts. Davids heart was tremendously in love with the things of God. But his mind often led him to make bad decisions. In learning how to become a community I hope that I can remember this so I don't become offended when someone I know makes a bad choice. Can I look at their heart first? I can't wait until the day that my mind is actually and willingly able to follow suit behind my heart, if that makes sense.