Thursday, June 30, 2005

Today Is The Greatest...........Day I've Ever Known

Ok, so I believe there are many seasons in a mans life that he begins to ask questions and he allows a resounding refining if you will. He may come out with a different personality, a different meaning of life, a new calling or even different priorities. This is why they are called seasons. With the change of seasons, everything changes. The tempature, the trees, peoples attitudes, everything.
Now that I've kinda set the picture, let me gab about my new season, one I've not been in before. Let me just tell you all that I have become the kind of christian that I dislike. I know this because the Lord gave me a glimpse of who I really am. Let me say that the hearts intent is definitly deceiving and wicked. In all of the ministry and things that I have wrapped myself around in the name of Jesus, has actually been in the name of self. Now this is not really a bad conclusion to come up with about myself and I pray and hope it happens as often as I let "self" get in. I am in a transitional period of my life where my faith and belief is being tested and created. I'm glad this is happening at the age of 28 and not when I'm 40. Please know I have asked for this time and time again. If I was perfectly happy I would almost have to ask myself if I were making any kind of impact for the Kingdom of God.
Anyway, I realize that I have believed things because someone said I should instead of believing because I know it's true. So now God seems to be separating the wheat from the chaff in my life and giving me truth by truth for a more solid foundation. Lord I welcome this rearranging in my life and I think it is so awesome once again that You have poured out Your grace and You love me so much. I know You would never let me remain unchanged.
Well I'm gonna go now, I hope all ya'lls walk is is fruitful and blessed. Remember, push on, fight, love, ask questions and always test everything by the word of God.

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Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Help With My Song

Ok, a couple of posts back I talked about a song I was writing and that maybe I need help with another verse and or bridge. Please don't be offended if I don't use your verse because there are certain things that it must have, for example, it has to fit with the chord progression, any way here's what I got.

Verse:

You, don't have to explain, this love comes with pain, that I am willing to endure.
Sometimes, it's hard to comprehend, how a lover and a friend, can also be my cure.

Pre-Chorus:

But You know that I trust You, and You know right where I stand.
And in the valley I will wait for You, my Lord, my Friend.

Chorus:

Jesus, You're all that I have in this life
Jesus, You've made me Your beautiful wife.
And I accept the invitation, to the suffering.
It's where my heart, and Yours, collide.

Ok the rest is up to you. Try to keep the same flow if you can and remember, writing is all about experience. So don't try to write about something you haven't been through. If these words stick out to you then pray and ask God to give you the words to articulate His heart and yours. People write songs all the time together so this won't be a first. But it is a way for us to communicate and come together. And we don't even have to be in the same room.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Ramble On Part 2

Medicine is weird. Anyway, just a simple ramble here. I'm in the prayer room and I'm about to brief with my worship team about tonight. We are singing from The Song of Solomon. That is such an awesome book. It really does paint such a wonderful picture. Have any of us truly been this love sick. I thought I might have. But after reading and letting this book drench me I realized a few things.

1. Love is not what I think it is
2. I've never been love sick (for real)
3. My love is immature
4. I am my Beloveds and He is mine

That's just a taste of what I have learned. It may not seem like deep revelation but when you can honestly say these types of things about yourself, it kinda releases you from the responsibility of being someone your not. And that my friends is freedom. More from Song of Solomon later. I gotta go brief.

One more thing, Erin...I love you

Sunday, June 12, 2005

What A Struggle..Uh.... Worship Was...........Nice

Worship can be an exhilarating experience., filled with all kinds of emotions ranging from joy to sorrow. I think it is a common misconception by the church that it is the worship leaders job to "make" the people worship. It is a misconception that if worship wasn't spirit filled or on fire than the worship leader didn't lead. As a worship leader I have come to the knowledge of, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. Nor can you provide someone with the kind of faith it takes to engage in worship. Another thing I have noticed is that the presence of the Lord is always there. Why He decides to allow us to feel Him sometimes and not to feel Him is a mystery. All this to say that leading worship today was a struggle, and most of the time it reflects me. I felt I was engaged sometimes but for the most part was concerned for the lack enthusiasm from the congregation.

My thought and advise for people who go to church and expect to be entertained. Sorry, that's not how I lead. I expect that you come ready to worship. Especially if it's the only time you do. Let's get real folks, my job is to not lead you into worship, it is to provide you with a atmosphere to express your joy and sorrows to the Father all while maintaining a reverent heart before the Lord because of His greatness and majesty. So you see, the worship part is up to you. Kill the facade when you come to worship, if not, I can't lead you. Only a willing heart can be truly lead. And in being translucent, there are sometimes that the whole worship team is not in unity which causes struggle amongst the whole group and congregation. It is so important for the team to be in unity.

"Have a couple of dry meetings and see who sticks around. Then you'll know who's there for the music or to worship" - Don Potter

Friday, June 10, 2005

Update...If You Want To Call It That

Well Doc thinks I may have Sarcoidosis. Sarcoidosis is a multisystemic disorder of unknown etiology that most commonly affects adults between 20 and 40 years of age. Or if this makes sense, sar·coid·o·sis ( P ) (sarkoi-dosis)
n. pl. sar·coid·o·ses (-sz)- A disease of unknown origin characterized by the formation of granulomatous lesions that appear especially in the liver, lungs, skin, and lymph nodes. Also called sarcoid.
Well anyway, Monday I have to go to Elkhart General Hospital for a breathing test and analysis @ 7:45 am. Then comes the meeting with the surgeon to schedule the time for the surgery so we can get a biopsy on my lung tissue and lymph nodes.

Gal 2:20 Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

My Day

cough*****cough*****cough*****COUGH*****COUGH*****COUGH

Friday, June 03, 2005

Song Plotting

Well in a recent post I said I would post some of the song lyrics I have written in the past. I enjoy how a song can bring a different feeling when you read the lyrics as a poem. There is no melody nor chords to deter you from the raw meaning of the words. However there is a plus side in using music to portray the emotion of the words. Anyway here are the lyrics to a song I wrote in 2002 called:

"Strangely I Find"

I've been pushed down, face in the ground, runnin around but it's all in my head
No matter how hard it gets it seems I'll get back on my feet again.
I know You know that it hurts sometimes. A reality I just cannot hide.
With so many ups and downs, to stuff it away it doesn't seem right.

Strangely I find, that it all works for the better.
Strangely I find, it's a test to make me stronger.
Strangely I find, there's a love that takes me higher.
Than I've ever been and I'm telling you it's real

Broken, once again, looking for a friend I am in need.
When freedom comes I won't just stand there, cause when I'm free He says I am free indeed
I keep telling myself I should press in and never walk away.
If your like me when you gave your life to the King then you are here to stay.

Strangely I find, that it all works for the better.
Strangely I find, it's a test to make me stronger.
Strangely I find, there's a love that takes me higher.
Than I've ever been and I'm telling you it's real

Well that's it for that song. This is a way to really get inside my head. You see writing for me has to be real, in an emotional sense. Writing a corporate worship song is totally different than writing, say a, reflective song. Sometimes the Lord will release a corporate worship song and sometimes you write a song completely to Him and vice versa. Not all songs are corporate worship songs. Some songs are to be enjoyed by a listener who can specifically relate to what the writer is saying about life. You see I only write what I know, as do other writers. Write now I have writers block. Next I will post a song that is half way done and I will take suggestions from my lovely readers. If I pick your lyrics, you get the credit. I know big whoop. It could be fun. Love you guys.