Snow Fun

Well it finally snowed here in the region and the kids are excited and decided to go play in our backyard field. They made angels and threw snow on each other. I decided to post a few pics of the snow fun. They did this while I was in the studio. Madisen looks like the younger brother in "A Christmas Story". This week we are going sledding which should lend to lots of fun and screams. Know any good hills in the area? Let me know!! Nothing to far, plus we don't want to pay. Just some good old fashioned find a hill and sled action.

Over A Month

Well it's been over a month since the last post. I think about posting all the time but for some reason it seems to great a task. Maybe I'm just not that interesting at the moment. Who knows? I've decided that my one gift from my tax check this year will be an Ipod. Preferably a 30 gig Ipod. Right now I have a little over 10 gigs of music on my computer and would love to transfer it all to the pod. I figure I could hit shuffle and probably not here the same song for 6 months. I like the idea of having my own Ipod because it's kinda like you can hold the soundtrack to your life in your hand. You can tell a lot by a person by what kind of music they listen to. Then again there are people who listen to certain types of music because the main trend in society claims it to be good. In most cases, it's simply not true. Arrg, I have the most death defying itch on my foot, jeez. I guess I could be considered somewhat of a music snob. Which is ok with me, I guess. I'm just picky and it seems music influences a lot in life. "Does art imitate life, or does life imitate art?" Theres a question for ya.

The Man

There is this new thing on My Space that allows you to sell your songs via your "MySpace". So I'm thinkin that this sounds like a great idea and I click the link to set it up. That's when I was made aware that, for some reason or another, I have always had a suspicion about the internet and "the man". For some reason I dread using my real name on stuff and especially giving out credit card information. Don't get me wrong, I have bought things off the internet and have used e-bay a few times. But I still dread it. Ever since I was a kid I feel like I have been pumped thoroughly with doses of conspiracy theories through movies, news, media in general. The thought of always being lied to by corrupt politicians and greedy tv evangelists. It just made me think about how much stock was put into my life to make sure that I would turn out to be someone who is always questioning the motives of everything. Also not being able to trust while remaining in fear that at any moment, my life could be taken away. Then you have the issue of, is it all made up to keep us in fear. Or is it real, and made a mockery of to keep us in the dark. Don't worry I'm not a paranoid freak or nothing but I'm conscious that something suspicious is there. Oh well, maybe I'll do the song thing, not sure yet. I need to make sure the thing is ligit. Maybe I'll give it a few months while I work on my "suspicions of the man" :)

Hooray For A Picture Post!!

Here are some pictures of a couple of recent events (within the last year). The first is my wife and I playing at The Crossing in Middleburry. The second is at an Open Heavens gathering. The others are just random. Soon I'm gonna get some pics of our recent studio time for everyone to enjoy. Take care all.

Erin and me @ The Crossing - Middleburry

Leading Worship - Open Heavens

Bob Deering and I

Leading Worship - Open Heavens

Extreme Close Up

Kris And I Jammin In My Living Room

Heres One of the Hairy Chin

The Light of My Life

My Army!

Random Thoughts

For the last few days I have been trying to get in the studio and start to get some stuff down. It's been fun to hear things come together in the process. We're using a program that samples a real drummer to different beats. I have, until recently, been a huge skeptic about these sort of programs because I had just felt well...uncertain about it. Call me weird. Anyway, the program we are using is remarkable and we have barely tapped into it. There are so many possibilities and options, plus things you never really thought of, or heard. Once we got a solid beat for a skeleton through the song I was able to lay down a bass track. I think a lot about bass when I'm writing music for a song. I have always felt that the bass guitar really directs the progress of emotion through the song. Kinda like a "point A to point B" journey through music. The bass directs. At any rate it was good to hear the bass and drums together. To be able to get the music stuff that is in my head out and into a computer and back out through speakers is a comforting feeling to a guy like me. We got three songs where bass and drums are recorded, I Believe, Thunder In Me, and My Everything. We'll go back after the rhythm guitar and other things are recorded and add drum accents here and there. Like fills and crashes and rid cymbals, you know stuff like that. It would be cool to somehow let everyone in on the process of recording this stuff. I think most would be amazed to hear a song go from baby to toddler to teenager to adult. When it comes to the recording process anyway. Maybe I'll get some pics up of me and Kris in his home studio. It's lotsa fun. So far I got seven songs written and am also in the process of writing more. I would like the CD to be a ten to twelve song CD. I really believe that when it's done. I will honestly be able to say that "If you want to know who I really am, listen to this CD". For me that would be a real accomplishment. I just want to offer something genuine. I don't want to think about a certain goal when it comes to writing. For example, Like what is a worship song and what's not. Or think, will people be able to enter into worship with this. Those thoughts have plagued me often and I forget why I write in the first place. To commune with my God. These songs are first, experiences I have with God in moments of prayer. I more or so decide whether or not I'm going to let people in on it. It is weird because sometimes I feel like I could be putting myself out there, and in some sort of weird way, it's getting harder to do. Maybe I'm just weary. Well I know this blog was jumbled so I apologize. More on all this stuff individually later.

All We Gotta Do Is.........

This is good.

Cool Quote

So I was watching Larry King live last night. His guest was James Dobson of Focus on the Family. Larry King decided to ask him his thoughts on hurricane Katrina and why he thinks God would do something like this. James Dobsons reply was simply this:
"I, by no means, understand what is going on in the mind of God as much as a dog can understand what's going on in mine". After hearing this I was reminded that faith is still at the helm of the ship. Remember folks that we can think we understand what God is doing in our time but we still only see dimly as looking through a glass. When we are so driven by what we believe God is doing. It may be time to step back and question our motives and agenda. I am not called to understand why God does what He does. I am called to love Him with everything I have and to love others as I love myself. We can spend a life time trying to accomplish understanding of our King. But it will surely be wasted if we do not love in the capacity that He desires us to love. Seek love over all things and truly the mysteries of God will be revealed to us in the right time according to His will. Now if I could just figure out how to love myself.

Just Do What You Feel

I am looking forward to playing again next week. It has been some time since I've played a coffee house or sang with my wife. When we sing songs it just feels natural, like we're not trying, but it's happening. I wish I was better at picking out vocal parts for my original songs. I trust her and her voice. So I usually end up saying "Just do what you feel". Then I got to thinkin.

This Is Like, Some Really Good Stuff...Well About The Book

So I'm reading a book that came out last year called "The Barbarian Way". I am only 15 pages in and have been rocked. I relate to the subject matter in so many ways. I am kinda a "full force" guy when it comes to believing in what I believe. When I gave my life to Jesus it was a done deal. Since, I have never questioned whether my decision to accept Christ was valid or not. It was simply something that needed to be done in order for me to have any ounce of sanity. It was simply the love of God that wooed me from the dark intent of my heart. Out of all the things I have subjected myself to, the message and the crucifixion of Christ was the only thing that ever made sense. Anyway that is a whole nuther story. To the point Eric. I find myself never questioning the motives of God. I do however question my own wants and desires (same thing - inside joke jp~) Arrg these rabbit trails. I however am not perfect and I fall so very short all of the time but, I have realized in my barbarianess I will not be stricken down. I will not let sin defeat me. I will not let spiritual accusation consume me. And I will wear my scars boldly as I know that the way to the heart of God is a devastating road. With that being said I would like all who read this excerpt to consider the possibilities of your barbarian ways.

"From the moment Jesus walked among us the invasion began. And just as with those who crossed paths with Him here on earth, those who are most religious will be most offended and indignant. Barbarians are not welcome among the civilized and are feared among the domesticated. The way of Jesus is far too savage for their sensibilities. The sacrifice of God's Son, the way of the Cross, the call to die to ourselves, all lack the dignity of a refined faith. Why insist on such a barbaric way? Why a reckless call to awaken the barbarian faith within us at the risk of endangering this great civilization we have come to know as Christianity? Because Jesus did not suffer and die so that we could build for ourselves havens, but so that we might expand the kingdom of His love. Because invisible kingdoms are at war for the hearts and lives of every human being who walk on the face of this earth. And times of war require barbarians who are willing to risk life itself for the freedom of others"

In some way shape or form I think that Christians have become so wrapped up in agenda and pride that we forget about the thing that makes us Christians in the first place. The fact that we have given ourselves to God to accomplish His will, not our own. And that we've tried to recruit those who surround us to build man made kingdoms with man made rules. We can't keep taking God out of a box just to put Him in a new one. Just because the box is larger, doesn't mean it will house Him. Freedom in Christ? I hope I and the church will get there someday. Until then, I'm ready for a revolution!

Why Blog?

I have noticed that I have been lacking in the blog area again. So I decided that I will not be to hard on myself and that I would just try to keep up with life as I try to keep up with this blog. I am convinced that no one reads this any way. Which reminds me why I decided to write this imparticular blog. A friend of mine told me that they decided not to blog anymore because someone read their blog and decided to confront them about the thoughts on the blog. Jeez, can I say blog one more time in that sentence. Any how it reminded me about why I blog in the first place. This being freedom of thought. See I feel by letting the world in on my thought process I can actually be of help to those who may be going through the same types of things that I am experiencing. To even ponder that someone shouldn't have certain opinions or thoughts seems like we would want to make everyone just like we are. Which I'm sorry but that is totally wrong (my opinion). My hope in writing this is to encourage those in one: that they continue to express themselves no matter what others think, and two: that those who criticize other people thoughts and feelings would take a look at themselves and ask "why do I have to point out others short comings so I can feel better about my walk and what I do" Our job as Christians and in accountability is not to go rummaging through someone's house looking for sin, but if we happen to see sin, to try to help the individual out of it through love, not criticism. There is a fine line between helping someone along through their walk and letting God do His work in them, than stepping in and deciding you know what's best for them in a situation. Especially if you know that the person is currently seeking God. Let God move and get out of the way. Your walk is your own and God will work because He is sovereign. So to this person, I hope you read this and that you would continue to blog, because I enjoy your thoughts. And really when it comes down to it. Who cares what others say, if you know in your heart that you are pursuing God. Because in the end those people won't be there with you. But they will be answering to God for their own actions.

Rich Mullins

Today is the aniversary of the death of Rich Mullins. Rich (though I was saved after he died) was and is an influential man of God in my life. I would and do encourage all to read his writings and listen to his songs. Rich continues to be one of the most real men of God I have ever had the chance to listen to. I just thought I would give Rich a tribute for being an essential influence. Thanks Rich, your legacy lives on through Christ.

What??!!??

Well the concert felt really good and there was a lot of positive feedback. Though some of the songs were unknown to the majority of the people, I saw many of them singing the lyrics and they seemed to be genuinely worshipping, which I found to be exciting. There was definitely a movement of God in the room at times throughout the show. I think really all in all it was an excellent night and I was able to introduce my music to a willing audience. When it was all said and done I found out that Mike (our sound guy) plugged the HD24 recorder into the power strip that my dad normally plugs all of his gear into. And unbeknownst to him he routinely turned the power strip off at the end of the night. Now I want to make perfectly clear that there is not a single person at fault here. Simply an honest mistake and really not even that. Mike saw an outlet and plugged it in, my dad did what he does every Tuesday night and turned his power strip off, which I will say now that, Ahem.... All of the data was lost for the recording. Surprisingly I feel OK about this unfortunate event because I believe that God is in control. Now there will be no way to replace the atmosphere that was established last Tuesday, but maybe God has something else in mind ie: another show, studio recording, nothing at all. I'm not sure what God has in store but I would like to hear from all who read this for suggestions. Should I do another concert? If so, how long should I wait? Should I do it totally different? Should I just let it go? I am at peace with whatever God wants but, I believe He will make it more clear through you guys. So let a brutha know.

IIIIIIII'''''''''''MMMMMM BBBBAAAACCCKKKK

Anyway, I finally got my laptop back in order and let's hope it works. My minds for the last couple weeks have been consumed with this coming up concert. I guess I just hope that people are blessed by the songs and that it proves to be a good atmosphere for worship. I guess it's hard to find help to get things started as a musician. It's funny how when your "no one" in the music world people barely want to help out or say that they will.**edit: this pertains to no one in particular but is the feeling I get in my own woundedness because I unintentionally put my priorities above others. I see this and hate it...end edit** But we all know if Martin Smith showed up to church to do a gig they'd be lining up down the street to help out. Anyway, I hope all goes well. I believe God has a great purpose for this night (Tuesday August 29th at the meeting place in Elkhart)I just hope I do not get in the way.

Prayer* God, purify my heart. My ways are not Yours. Sorry for all the crap that I think and do. Use me dispite my ways. Your will be done.

S.O.S Need Computer

To anyone who has an old computer sitting around, I need it. My home computers video card is dead and it's built into the motherboard. My laptop is way freaked out and very unstable(it took over a week to insall a fresh windows on it cause it kept shutting down) Anyway, if any of ya'll have an old computer (even a dinosaur) let me know I could use it until we can afford a new one. At any rate, all is well, growth is interesting, banners are waved, love prevails, the crucified life is imminent and His joy is my strength.

It Is For Freedom

I was thumbing through my journal the other day and ran across this old writing. The first word in my journal is "Freedom" and it reads as follows:

Freedom - Freedom is not what one is when there is a lack of rules or when another doesn't have authority over you. Nor is it one who is able to do what he wants regardless of rules, laws or consequence. Freedom comes when one is walking in the true will of the Father. A freedom comes when you know that you feet are exactly where they are supposed to be. Freedom is being trumpeted in the land. Freedom cannot be contained. Freedom will not be ignored. The spirit of freedom will prevail.

Galatians 5:13 reads "For you were called to freedom brethren, only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love, serve one another."

We are called to freedom. We are called to walk in the will of the Father. So often we turn freedom, or what we perceive freedom to be, as an opportunity for selfish gain. But our Father desires us to use freedom as an opportunity to love one another. I am not serving or loving with a true spirit if I am not walking in the will of God.

Prayer - "Lord I desire my every step to be ordained by Your perfect will. Please allow me to see when my flesh is after selfish gain and when I am loving or serving in the flesh. Quickly allow me to regain any steps lost in the path you have for me"

There are many traps and snares along the path of freedom. The enemy fears a man walking in true freedom. What is more dangerous to the kingdom of darkness than a man walking in the will of the Father. The traits of a man walking in freedom are humility, love, fruit, service, wisdom, perspective, power and authority. Through obedience, holiness is not unattainable for we are one. Seek my will, deny your flesh,hear My voice, hear the trumpet sound. Freedom is near, it will come, it cannot be stopped. The closer you come to Me, the closer you come to freedom and freedom is My will for all. - end entry

I read that today and it reminded me that God still has a plan for my life. Though I am still seeking His will I am never-the-less a "Freedom Fighter". So that being said, it is for freedom why I pick myself from up off the ground, look up to the sky, and take another step up the mountain of life.

WARNING!!WARNING!!..(the post under this is not meant to judge anyone at all but meant to encourage, if I judge anyone in this post it is myself.)

Please, if you are going to read the post "Man of Faith" do not be led to believe I am judging harshly in any way. I am simply ranting particular feelings. I believe the undertone of the post is to encourage myself and hopefully encourage the reader. I will however take your comments to the following. I encourage thought and debate :)

Man Of Faith

My life is not perfect. I struggle in every possible way and often think that I'll never really be able to change. My mind wonders to the depths of despair and I never fail to find myself wishing for better times. I seem to want to find this super equation that helps me understand my purpose in this world. Truth is, I wallow in my own punishment. It would be so easy to turn into a person who blames society or "the man" or others who just don't have it figured out. To turn my angst to politicians and to the world, to muster up some kind of cause to protest against. Even blame the church and religion for being hypocrites and liars. But the truth is, I have been given life. I have been created to love. I am fearfully and wonderfully made by the Creator of all beings who sits on a throne and marvels in the lives of His creation and people. "Peace be still" He says to the storm clouds of my soul "I have chosen you". I have but one request of my God. That His will be accomplished in my life that I might one day stand before Him in everlasting eternity. You see, if you don't believe in God, or you do but not "The One True God" there is a longing that is never filled in our souls. We have but one chance to sit at the table of the Lord. And the only way to accomplish this it to believe. Believe that in all of this chaos and random times of joy that we are in the process of being made whole. Are you whole? Or is something missing? Can you honestly say you are complete? There comes a day in surrender when you have exhausted all of your options and you look up through a lightning filled blood red sky and say "You are my portion my God my Savior, no matter what, I will follow. Though You slay me, I will trust You Lord" The answer is found in the One who has been brutally slain. Jesus is as real as it gets folks and trust me I have searched for other means and have followed other desires. Jesus is the only One who has not betrayed me or left me in any way. But it has been I who has gone astray. I understand there are religious pretenders out there who kill the word Christianity with their money grubbing and rules of salvation and their betrayal of love to those hurting, and to them I pray swift reconciliation. But also believe this. There are those out there who have really lived the life, and stood their ground for the sake of a very real God. What drives such men and women to endure every pain in life.......I believe the answer is faith. Faith in a King, a Friend and a Lover. Would you die for what you believe in? Would you endure ridicule and humiliation and face the mockery of your friends and family for believing in an ever criticized religion. I propose this. Christianity is not a religion, it is life. It will cost you everything to walk out the will of God for your life. It is the most painful and the most rewarding. You know what is really important in your life when you can say you are willing to die for it. Be encouraged and have faith. For this life is but a vapor. Let the beauty and mystery of Jesus capture your every waking breath....and live life.

A New Leaf

Well I said that I would try to post every Friday and it has now been over a month since I last posted. Speaking of, I saw a great T-Shirt yesterday that a friend was wearing. It was all black and on the front in red letters it said "Procrastinators Unite Tomorrow". I was like "Dude that shirt rocks". As you can see I identified with it. Than I got to thinking, "Man I am so that way in my spiritual life and life in general that I have suffered consequences in both." In my spiritual walk I have said things like, "I need to read the word more or I need more time with the Lord, I need to spend more time with my family discussing Godly things" in the natural I have been known to put bills off, and avoid situations that need attention, and say "I need to write more". Yesterday I noticed finally and harshly, I am a procrastinator. And for once it didn't feel like a joke, it felt real. Not that I want to read the word and pray more because of performance based relation with God, but because I know I will benefit from it in my decision making for my future and for the lives of my kids. In essence I need to stop talking about how I am a Christian and in love with God and actually BE a Christian and LOVE God. I and my generation hurts because of this horrible trait, and we seem to just wait for everything to fix itself. I don't know about you but I want my yes to be yes. Ahem....next Friday

The Fleeting Dream

So I had a dream last night where I was talking to this girl from another state and I was at some kind of flea market type thing. Anyway she found out my name and thanked me for writing a song that was dear to her. I thanked her and asked her which song. She began to sing it and at first I didn't recognize the song. Then she began to sing the verses and I began to cry. "I forgot about that song" I told her, "I gotta start singing it again". The reason I was crying was that a song meant so much to someone when I (the writer) had forgotten about it. Right then I made it a point to remember the melody and the words as she was singing it. Then I woke up and...........well you guessed it. Immediately I forgot the words and melody. Maybe the words and melody count or maybe it was a metaphor, regardless the song in my dream sounded so cool (melody and all). I do remember when the girl started singing it, I flashed back (in the dream mind you) to playing at New Life Community Church (my old church) where I was playing the song. So it was in the flashback where I heard the song with a full band. Well, I guess I need to write some more. Bye for now. Oh yeah, I will now try to post every Friday so check back next week.

K.C. Trip Day 3

Today has been revelation after revelation. It is amazing that when we get into a place of beholding God that he reminds us that He is with us and for us. Many prophetic words were spoken over my life today reminding me that God counts me worthy. You see my struggle is that I see God as wanting to reprimand me for my short-coming. When again it places the focus upon myself instead of Christ. The idea is beholding Jesus and in doing that we become what we behold. Well a heavy duty word was spoken over me this afternoon about "Him wanting to meet with me tonight" or the Lord saying "I will meet with you tonight". So I'm gonna go and wait!!!