I Miss My Friends

I would like to say that I miss Kris and Jean. There is rarely a time when you run across a brother who not only is fun to hang out with but is as real as it gets. Kris was and is just that to me. Here was a man that seemed to never judge me for my mistakes and only encouraged me to be all that God wants me to be. He never said those specific words to me but through his actions and him sharing his struggles with me, I would assume it would be something he would say. We are on this journey and it never fails that God will bring the right people into your life at the right time. Kris undoubtedly taught me how to relax and let God work things out. And all of this he did by just living his life. A servant and a brother he is. I would just like to say that it is very rare when people like this come along. This is for Jean too. These are the kind of people that open their home to people in need and give their time for the good of the cause. They live it out, every stinking hard step that it is, they live it out. When they left, there was no grand send off, no tears, no remember whens, no recognition of service. Let it be said that God uses people like this because they never looked for recognition. Only some friends to share their lives with. One of the last things I said to Kris and Jean before they left was "Well man, I just want you to know that you guys will always have friends up north, remember that." I trust that being called a friend to them, is just as important as it is to me, and as it is to God. It is an honor to have them as friends. It makes me want to look around and see what valuable friendships I have overlooked because of just plain stupidness. Kill the clique, find a friend.

*Kris and Jean don't actually dress like this - this was an 80's party

Stress Relieva

Here are some pics of my new bike. It is really fun and peaceful to ride around town while copping a cool breeze. I was washing it today and noticed a piece of metal sticking out of my back tire. Most likely a nail from driving on C.R. 26 and all the construction. Not sure how much a new tire will be but the bike is wrapped up till I get one. To think I've rode this long and haven't noticed scares me, though it could have happened today. I'm not sure what I would do if the tire burst while going 65. Probably curl into a ball and pray for the best.

Oh Jeez

My friend Ryan who moved to South Carolina awhile ago came for a visit. Ryan is a real friend and has been hugely missed by me. For me, he is a breath of fresh air because he pursues God in a way that most people don't. Fervently. Ryan is a gifted painter and musician and I just miss hanging out. Sometimes I struggle with boredom. Not that I want to be constantly doing something because I love to relax too, but there seems to be a fine line. Let me give an example of an average thought process that creates a feeling of boredom."Hmm, I'm bored maybe I should find something to do, well, I'm sick of the Internet, Every video game I have I've played a million times, T.V. is lame and there is nothing interesting ever on and Seinfeld doesn't come on till' like ten, Maybe I should read, Arrrg reading makes me tired and I don't want to sleep." That's just an example, I know, I know, I should pray or do something constructive but let me tell ya folks, I've made it a habit to pray continually through conversation in my normal relationship with Jesus, not to say that I shouldn't make time to meditate. But at this time, I hardly have the attention span. I know maybe I can go for a ride (motorcycle that is). That always seems to clear my mind in a way that nothing else can. And it relieves boredom. In other news it's interesting to see the many changes taking place as I mentioned in my last post. Through everything I notice more and more the changes that are happening in me. How God is allowing me to understand the dynamics in relationships and how they work. I'm not saying that I have attained anything. Far from it. But God is letting me grow and I can say, I'm not who I was yesterday.

New Things Are A Comin'

God, has been so generous, to allow me to go through many things in my life up to this point. I feel like I have certainly learned many things and I am still learning many others. For some reason, God has allowed me to enter into a somewhat new journey, that being leading worship for the Voice Ministries Sunday service known as Voice 17. It has been really exciting to watch what God has been doing to this Ministry and it's leaders. It seems that God is restoring a family atmosphere within the ministry. There is a realness returning. Through all of this, it will be my job to create a worship team from scratch. Though it may have it's crazy moments, I'm positive that God will use this time to allow even more growth in our understanding of what it means to be a worshipper of Christ.

Blog Envy

Man, I really envy those who can keep a blog going nonstop. It's been two months since my last blog and I bet my poor mother is just beside herself about the whole thing. She calls me and says "Ok Eric, I'm tired of looking at those clouds." When I first started this thing I wanted the coolest blog on the block but I guess sometimes that life takes over instead. I always go to my site and I'm like "I should write something, ehhh, I'm to tired." Well today I guess I could write about my new motorcycle, which I might add is one of the biggest stress relievers I've ever known. Well at least while riding, maybe not the payment thing. I ride it everywhere. Erin likes it to, at least I think she does. We have the kids so her rides are far and few between. I said if she got her license/permit
I would teach her how to drive it, but when I said that, she just looked at me weird. There are quite possibly a lot of changes on the horizon, some of which I can't talk about now. But, please pray a quick prayer when your done or while reading this. Pray that Gods timing would prevail. That's all.

Today

Today I went outside, looked in the sky, and saw this.

The Question?

To post, or not to post?

Concert Pics

Here are some pics from last nights show. It was fun and interesting. The photos were taken by Kris's dad. Kris told me that photography has always been a fun hobby for his dad. He said he used to have his own dark room before the digital age took over. I thought it would be fun and have him come out and take some pics.



Check out Kris and the lean back.

Recording And So On And So On

Well today was a fruitful day as far as recording goes. We spent about five hours laying down tracks for the first half of "Falling in Love". It's starting to sound like it should and is coming together nicely. Part of the hard part is using the drum editor and making it sound like a real drummer. I've been continually impressed by the program, cause if you use it just right, it sounds very real. But it takes a lot of time. So far though we got the basic gist of about, maybe 4 songs. only about 7 more to go. I have been toying with the idea of taking some of the material from the first album and recording it in the studio. Songs like "Change", "Strangely I Find" and "Rescue Me" but I'm not sure yet. There are definitely things on the old Cd which I think could be better. That's it for today though. Here are a couple of pics of me laying down some electric guitar parts with the guitar that Kris built with His hands. Maybe some sound clips soon on myspace. It's over there in the links section.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Freedom

This is a clip of a Jason Upton song called "Freedom" (old song, new band) Anyway, there is a great annointing on this song and this video contains a cool jam section.


Here are the Lyrics:

Freedom:
Back in the bible there was that old Pharaoh
Who ruled over Egypt and Israel
God spoke to Moses through fired up bushes
Said kick off your shoes and stay awhile

All of humanity was made to worship me
Pharaoh get outta my way, God is sayin'

Freedom to dance, Freedom to sing
Freedom to grow
I'm telling you Pharaoh let Gods people go

Worship now, Worship now
Worship your God, let 'em go

Well, we live in a country supposedly Pharaohless
But all over town and in churches abide
Powerful weeklings who practice they're politics
Stealing from Jesus his beutiful bride
Whether you're Pharisees, Sadducees, heresies
You best get outta God's way God is sayin'

Freedom to dance, Freedom to sing
Freedom to grow
I'm telling you Pharaoh let Gods people go

"Yet Hope Remains"

Lots going on these days I guess. I was just confronted on my back porch with the thoughts of my greatest fear. Or more so "what is my greatest fear?" And I have decided that when I am confronted with the thoughts of death is when I am most afraid. It's not really the actual dieing that scares me. But it is the cause of me potentially missing out on living on this earth watching my kids grow, loving on my wife and enjoying those spontaneous moments of laughter with friends. The hardships in our lives cannot replace an instant of genuine laughter. In reality my health has not been to good. I was just recently told that I have diabetes. I'm not sure what type yet but my blood sugar is really high. When I first went in it was like 570 something but I have been able to maintain at about 250 or so. which is still high by normal standards. But with this also comes the thoughts of other serious things happening due to the diabetes. Anyway, I am ashamed that it has taken something like this to slap me awake to learn how to take care of myself. Like eating right, maintaining ideal body weight and making good choices. I always say to my kids before they go outside to play. I say "make good choices". Through all of this I am also confronted with faith and as I would like to say that I would never waiver I find there is a shifting sometimes in my faith. I want strong faith. But I waiver. This is probably one of the truest statements I could say about myself. Through thinking this out I thought "I'm sure that one of the greatest human fears is death" To the world it seems so final. The fear is, never being able to think thoughts or see anything anymore or talking with someone else. You know, darkness. Then I thought, If the greatest fear of man is death, Then the message of eternal life would be the greatest hope a man could have. This is where faith steps in. We are saved by grace through faith so at some time in our lives we believed only by faith that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. We believed there was a God in the first place. So why does our faith waiver through time and circumstance. Yes we are saved by grace but we have to believe we are. Just as this is true I want to believe that I will be healed or more so am healed according to the will of God. So through it all I have hope. Hope that I can have the will power to change my life and diet. That when I am weak, I can rely on God to strengthen me because it is easier to give in. I definitely need a influx of self control. Well I looked away for a moment and lost my train of thought. Bye all. The upside is I've already lost about 20 pounds. I need to lose about 30 more (yikes)

Valentines Festivities

Erin and I were lucky enough to get out this Valentines Day. We went to a catered dinner and concert at The Crossing - Middlebury. The cost was thirty bucks a couple and we were treated to various breads and dips, chicken alfredo, veggies and roasted potatos, and cheesecake for dessert. Following the dinner was an intimate performance from Josh Garrels. Josh is a awesome singer songwriter that has performed everywhere including Conerstone for the last few years. Josh is a great singer and I would compare his voice to some of the best out there. Check him out here.
Here are a couple pics from the night. We were also happy to enjoy our dinner with Jay and Katie Brewer. Good friends that we haven't seen in awhile so that was fun to catch up. Jay is a great bass player who also plays upright (yes we've had a few fun bluegrass jams)

Where Ya Been?

In case ya'll have been wondering where I've been lately I thought I'd use this post to maybe clear some things up. To get to the point I have been concentrating on writing and recording the original material that I have compiled over the last few years. In August, when the live recording was erased, I felt the Lord telling me to come away. Since then I have done a lot of thinking and a lot of praying. Long story short I have found a lot of things in my life that I need to be cleansed of. There are a lot of things I need to forgive for, in myself and others. I realized that I had released God from my box only to build a bigger one around Him. I realized that in my box also existed religion, elitism and disunity. My family has become a very important factor in my life and unity with my wife has become the utmost. My goals are now different than what they were three months ago. My beliefs are now different then what they were three months ago. My relationship with Jesus is more real than ever, because I've learned to be real with Him. My life is no longer consumed by "doing". I also had to ask myself the question of whether or not I was "on-board" with everything that was happening and going on around me. And I guess it is weird when you run into people and the first thing they say is "are you still going to so and so?". Like I'm supposed to break it down in the middle of an aisle at Wal-Mart. For me there are just to many things that I feel checked about. That's not to say ANYTHING negative at all by any means. Until I get things figured out in my family and my walk, I would rather step away (not down) than sow disunity. Make sense? Because my views toward certain things may differ, I am not pointing a finger at anyone or anything. I am simply trying my best to make sure that I am walking in the will of God for my life. As I am sure everyone is. And though my path may be different. I can still be in unity with the one who is walking His path for them. We can all agree that Gods will is the most important thing that we can accomplish right? So we can agree that when one is on the road to accomplishing Gods will it should be something that is celebrated. So now that that's out of the way, God has been opening and closing doors and it has been an adventure seeing what God is doing. It's been awesome over at "Bikers at the Crossing" in Goshen. The people there are so honest and hospitable. They've asked if I would lead the service the first Sunday of every month which has been an honor. These people are really after the heart of God. I was led to sit in with another worship team at "The Lighthouse" in Goshen after the Pastor called to see if I could help them out. I said yes and to my surprise Mike Kyle walks through the door. It was great playing with Mike again and after we talked it looks like Mike is gonna join us on drums the first Sunday in March. It should be great. That service we will be worshiping the whole time, which is about an hour. I really feel that God is reconnecting some relationships that were never supposed to be separate in the first place. Well, all in all I've been fine with this transition. I still love and adore all those who I don't see that much anymore and am forever grateful to them for helping God shape who I am. But now it's time for me to walk my path. About five or so years ago I received a prophetic word from a woman at a Morning Star worship conference. She said that she saw me in a room, kinda like a college dorm. And I was playing guitar and singing songs (keep in mind she knows nothing about me). She says That I am writing these songs and I'm wondering why I can't get out into the world and sing these songs. Then she said the Lord gave her a picture of me in that room and that I was barefoot. She felt the Lord saying that I have not left the room because my shoes have not been made. The path that is laid for me by God requires specific shoes that He will make. To me it says that God has designed for me the shoes I need to withstand the road that lies before me. In all of this I truly believe that my shoes have finally been made. Now I am mustering up the faith and courage to walk.

Snow Fun

Well it finally snowed here in the region and the kids are excited and decided to go play in our backyard field. They made angels and threw snow on each other. I decided to post a few pics of the snow fun. They did this while I was in the studio. Madisen looks like the younger brother in "A Christmas Story". This week we are going sledding which should lend to lots of fun and screams. Know any good hills in the area? Let me know!! Nothing to far, plus we don't want to pay. Just some good old fashioned find a hill and sled action.

Over A Month

Well it's been over a month since the last post. I think about posting all the time but for some reason it seems to great a task. Maybe I'm just not that interesting at the moment. Who knows? I've decided that my one gift from my tax check this year will be an Ipod. Preferably a 30 gig Ipod. Right now I have a little over 10 gigs of music on my computer and would love to transfer it all to the pod. I figure I could hit shuffle and probably not here the same song for 6 months. I like the idea of having my own Ipod because it's kinda like you can hold the soundtrack to your life in your hand. You can tell a lot by a person by what kind of music they listen to. Then again there are people who listen to certain types of music because the main trend in society claims it to be good. In most cases, it's simply not true. Arrg, I have the most death defying itch on my foot, jeez. I guess I could be considered somewhat of a music snob. Which is ok with me, I guess. I'm just picky and it seems music influences a lot in life. "Does art imitate life, or does life imitate art?" Theres a question for ya.

The Man

There is this new thing on My Space that allows you to sell your songs via your "MySpace". So I'm thinkin that this sounds like a great idea and I click the link to set it up. That's when I was made aware that, for some reason or another, I have always had a suspicion about the internet and "the man". For some reason I dread using my real name on stuff and especially giving out credit card information. Don't get me wrong, I have bought things off the internet and have used e-bay a few times. But I still dread it. Ever since I was a kid I feel like I have been pumped thoroughly with doses of conspiracy theories through movies, news, media in general. The thought of always being lied to by corrupt politicians and greedy tv evangelists. It just made me think about how much stock was put into my life to make sure that I would turn out to be someone who is always questioning the motives of everything. Also not being able to trust while remaining in fear that at any moment, my life could be taken away. Then you have the issue of, is it all made up to keep us in fear. Or is it real, and made a mockery of to keep us in the dark. Don't worry I'm not a paranoid freak or nothing but I'm conscious that something suspicious is there. Oh well, maybe I'll do the song thing, not sure yet. I need to make sure the thing is ligit. Maybe I'll give it a few months while I work on my "suspicions of the man" :)

Hooray For A Picture Post!!

Here are some pictures of a couple of recent events (within the last year). The first is my wife and I playing at The Crossing in Middleburry. The second is at an Open Heavens gathering. The others are just random. Soon I'm gonna get some pics of our recent studio time for everyone to enjoy. Take care all.

Erin and me @ The Crossing - Middleburry

Leading Worship - Open Heavens

Bob Deering and I

Leading Worship - Open Heavens

Extreme Close Up

Kris And I Jammin In My Living Room

Heres One of the Hairy Chin

The Light of My Life

My Army!

Random Thoughts

For the last few days I have been trying to get in the studio and start to get some stuff down. It's been fun to hear things come together in the process. We're using a program that samples a real drummer to different beats. I have, until recently, been a huge skeptic about these sort of programs because I had just felt well...uncertain about it. Call me weird. Anyway, the program we are using is remarkable and we have barely tapped into it. There are so many possibilities and options, plus things you never really thought of, or heard. Once we got a solid beat for a skeleton through the song I was able to lay down a bass track. I think a lot about bass when I'm writing music for a song. I have always felt that the bass guitar really directs the progress of emotion through the song. Kinda like a "point A to point B" journey through music. The bass directs. At any rate it was good to hear the bass and drums together. To be able to get the music stuff that is in my head out and into a computer and back out through speakers is a comforting feeling to a guy like me. We got three songs where bass and drums are recorded, I Believe, Thunder In Me, and My Everything. We'll go back after the rhythm guitar and other things are recorded and add drum accents here and there. Like fills and crashes and rid cymbals, you know stuff like that. It would be cool to somehow let everyone in on the process of recording this stuff. I think most would be amazed to hear a song go from baby to toddler to teenager to adult. When it comes to the recording process anyway. Maybe I'll get some pics up of me and Kris in his home studio. It's lotsa fun. So far I got seven songs written and am also in the process of writing more. I would like the CD to be a ten to twelve song CD. I really believe that when it's done. I will honestly be able to say that "If you want to know who I really am, listen to this CD". For me that would be a real accomplishment. I just want to offer something genuine. I don't want to think about a certain goal when it comes to writing. For example, Like what is a worship song and what's not. Or think, will people be able to enter into worship with this. Those thoughts have plagued me often and I forget why I write in the first place. To commune with my God. These songs are first, experiences I have with God in moments of prayer. I more or so decide whether or not I'm going to let people in on it. It is weird because sometimes I feel like I could be putting myself out there, and in some sort of weird way, it's getting harder to do. Maybe I'm just weary. Well I know this blog was jumbled so I apologize. More on all this stuff individually later.

All We Gotta Do Is.........

This is good.

Cool Quote

So I was watching Larry King live last night. His guest was James Dobson of Focus on the Family. Larry King decided to ask him his thoughts on hurricane Katrina and why he thinks God would do something like this. James Dobsons reply was simply this:
"I, by no means, understand what is going on in the mind of God as much as a dog can understand what's going on in mine". After hearing this I was reminded that faith is still at the helm of the ship. Remember folks that we can think we understand what God is doing in our time but we still only see dimly as looking through a glass. When we are so driven by what we believe God is doing. It may be time to step back and question our motives and agenda. I am not called to understand why God does what He does. I am called to love Him with everything I have and to love others as I love myself. We can spend a life time trying to accomplish understanding of our King. But it will surely be wasted if we do not love in the capacity that He desires us to love. Seek love over all things and truly the mysteries of God will be revealed to us in the right time according to His will. Now if I could just figure out how to love myself.